The Middle

Do you watch The Middle? Well I will no longer be viewing it. Why? Because my uncanny resemblance to the character Sue Heck is just too much for my heart to take. As I have watched the show in the past I had thought quietly to myself.. oh no.. I'm Sue.. poor me.. But last night's episode confirmed it. Just a few similarities: I was on Cross Country in high school (Nerd!) There was a rumor that a really cool and popular boy was going to ask me to a dance, and although he never came up to me directly to disprove the rumor when he failed to ask me to the dance the message was received. (Nerd!) And this is the kicker, the oh so painful kicker.. I really did dress like a crayon for Halloween one year..I was in high school.. why did no one tell me! If you read this blog and you knew me in high school I want you to feel very guilty for not telling me!

I have thought of calling the producers and asking them for a writing job, that way I could just write down all the things that happened to me during my adolescent years, thus creating a genuinely humiliated teenager. The first thing I would do is make Sue shorter, that way she could replay my first few days of 7th grade. Warning.. this is a true story.. it will make you laugh at first, but then later when think about it once more it will make you cry just a little. There I was in a new school because my parents had the genius idea of moving the same year I started middle school. I knew no one.. I mean.. no one! On the first day I got my locker assignment, it was a top locker, the coveted top locker.. the only problem.. I was not tall enough to see the numbers on the lock. I tried to do the combination but could never see what number I landed on. I did not want to trade to a bottom locker because like I say everyone wanted the top locker, it would be like saying.. Please God make me a short stalky girl with brunette hair, I hate being tall, blond and thin.. You see no one asks for that kind of shit.

To remedy the locker situation my mother had the bright idea of performing the combination from the bottom. To help her little Sue, she came to the school (that's right my mommy came to the school!) (Nerd!), and with a sharpie made a mark at the bottom, while she looked at the numbers from the top we figured out the combination from the bottom. I made sure to keep this to myself.. until one day, a girl who had a locker next to mine asked if she could store some stuff in my locker because she had just closed hers. She was staying after school, so she would need my combination to retrieve her belongings later.. I did not remember the normal combination.. only the vertically challenged one.. and that is when I had to tell her... If this incident happens to be on the next episode of The Middle, you can say poor Sue.. and.. Lindy