Thursday, July 1, 2010

Two Weeks Notice


I’ve been busy making some of life’s toughest choices that parenthood so abruptly forces you into. To work, to not work, to work how much, where to work?
My first day back at work was April 28th. Yes I was lucky enough to take 3 months off after having Milly and for that I thank you Mason. I remember my first day back like I remember the day I met Mason.. I remember what I wore I remember what I felt and I remember liking it. Yes I know I am the first mother in the world to like her first day back at work… there I said it. All my coworkers welcomed me back with open arms and told me how much I had been missed it was like a love fest for Lindy and if you are as self absorbed as I am you can imagine how great that felt. It was kind nice not having a baby on me, or to be more descriptive.. sucking on me.. The truth was I became a little empowered by going back and the paycheck didn’t hurt anyone’s feeling either. For a moment I thought, hey maybe I can do this.. Then when I realized I had to do it all again the next day I thought… okay something’s gotta give. So… I stopped taking care of my house, I stopped cooking and here’s the part where you won’t recognize me I stopped exercising, and yes I do look and feel like shit, thanks for asking.
I felt all I could do when I did get home was be with Milly I felt an insurmountable guilt for missing everything she did that day. When I would pick her up from daycare her sitter would report how she did, how much she ate, if she cooed, if she giggled, if she pooped and unlike every mother in this world I didn’t want to hear it… it was as if I couldn’t face what I had missed that day. By about 2:30-3:00 each day I missed Milly so much it was physical ache, up to that time everyday I could fake like everything was fine and then that time would hit like a ton of bricks. I remember the tearful conversation I had with my mother when I had been back to work for just two weeks. I couldn’t figure out why I had worked so hard through college and then I had worked so hard to find a good job and why I had worked so hard to be promoted to a great job.. what was it all for? What’s a girl to do? Well I have been working on a solution for a couple months now and to make a long post short… I found a way to work from home which entailed quitting my current job and chasing a new opportunity. It has taken a lot of courage to do this but I decided while making one of life’s major transitions from childless freedom to motherhood why not add another major life changing event right? I’m excited for this new opportunity and I am hoping it will present the happy medium I have been in search for. I realize working from home will present a new list of challenges, but here we go!
And yes Milly found her feet last week and she has been entertained ever since.

12 comments :

  1. Congratulations Lindy! I'm excited for you & very proud too. You will do great & hopefully will get to experience the joys of being a stay-at-home mom while still feeling like you are contributing to your family's welfare.

    You now have it all....well except for the dog. I'm so funny!

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  2. So I'm curious, what will you be doing from home? Maybe you need a helper? (he! he! just kidding, I'm under qualified no doubt) Anyway, best of luck to ya Lindy!

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  3. Welcome to the world of a WSAHM! Enjoy working in your Pajamas, its a dream!

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  4. Hi Lindy! LOVED reading all of your thoughts about work/education/motherhood... I can totally relate. I've been working from home for the past two weeks now, and although it's just part-time, I have had to find that balance, but it's really working out, and I love that I can still have a professional side but, more importantly, be with my boy.

    Good luck with the new job! And yes, working in pajamas IS pretty nice!

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  5. I'm so excited for you... because basically you are the shit! You're always awesome at whatever you do!!!!

    Congratulations love!!! Being home with your babies is a blessing!!!

    Love you
    KarKar

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  6. Thanks for your support. I will be selling life and health insurance from home.
    Jamie I'd be happy to send you the info. about the company I will be working for all it takes is passing a test! Let me know and I can send it on if you are interested.

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  7. Good for you Lindy!! I'm glad you found something that you are able to do at home and be with Milly. Love your thoughts on motherhoo, you really know how to express yourself very well

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  8. Congrats!!! Good luck with the selling, if I could I would stay home tomorrow.

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  9. lindy, I think what you're doing is awesome. It's hard because no matter how much you want to be home with your baby sometimes it would be nice to be paid a little more than just not feeling guilty for working. good luck with everything! so glad you're able to have the best of both worlds!

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  10. Yes, send me the info, I'd love to take a look at it. I've been doing marketing for the surgeon I work for; but the older Haws gets the harder it gets to make it around to all the referring offices :( Thanks so much Lindy!

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  11. Like always your blog makes me laugh, I love you! I'm so excited that you get to stay home with Milly! You're such a good little Mommy! Love ya!

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  12. Hey I need some life insurance! Call me!

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