Bachelor Finale: Evil Prevails

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May I just start off by saying; what a journey, right? The twists the turns the ups the downs, the us knowing the entire season it would be Courtney but watching it anyway. 

Lindzi had the first date of the night and honestly I wasn’t paying that much attention, but I can assume they had an amazing, wonderful date. I’m willing to bet they talked about how their journey has been what they have learned from this journey, and their feelings regarding this journey. 

I did catch a glimpse of Lindzi and Ben skiing down the Switzerland slopes. It was the weirdest thing I’ve witnessed (and that’s saying something, I mean, I did watch Ashley’s season). Ben was in front, Lindzi wrapped herself around his back with her skis were in between his. It made me uncomfortable. Ben just wore goggles, no helmet, thus denying himself the only opportunity to cover up that hair. 

Bachelor Review: Women Tell All

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Alright, it’s the episode we all live for. Women tell all. 

Honestly, Chris H. did not disappoint, somehow he amazingly convinced Courtney to show her pouty face. I was honestly excited; I thought she could avoid this seeing as she is in the final two, but nada. 

And when I say convinced I mean abc agreed on some kind of lump sum for Courtney, get half for coming to women tell all and the other half to accept Ben, the ring and his awful hair do. 

Bachelor Review: Episode 9

We’re down to the last three fools. Lindzi, Nikki and Courtney.

Yes it’s fantasy suite time in Switzerland. 

It starts with Nikki, they see Switzerland by helicopter. I know you didn’t see that coming did you? 

Nikki says, “I feel like we’re the only two people in Switzerland.” Nikki, darling, you’re not even the only two people in this relationship. 

Bachelor Review: Home Town Dates

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It was home town dates this week, usually a favorite of mine. I love, love when they tell their families they love him. Their parents typically question, as they know the bachelor is dating three other women, though mommy and daddy usually come around as they see the sparkle in their daughter’s eye. Ahhh, sweet, it’s hilarious every time. 

First we met Lindzi’s family. She rode up on a horse, like I even needed to tell you that. Her parents seemed normal and nice, so that was disappointing. 

Ben and Lindzi participated in a fancy carriage race. They all talked about their journey and horses. Like what else is there in life?

Bachelor Review: Week 7

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This week our journey will be in Belize to give Ben ample opportunity to sport striped tank tops, and he does.

Lindzi get s a one on one, which causes Nicki to cry, of course.

He had an amazing date planned for him and Lindzi, which involved a helicopter. How does Ben come up with all these great date ideas?

Bachelor Review: Week 6

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We’re down to nine women.

The women are in Panama City, Panama this week.

The women are thrilled to be there. The women can “see themselves with him.”

The first time the women saw Ben the women looked like a bunch of drooling puppies. No really, I think I saw one trying to hump his leg.

The women are falling for him. May I quote the man of the hour, “I can Potentially see myself with some of the women.” Wait? Is ABC promoting polygamy now?

Bachelor Review: Week 5

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The girls and Ben are in Puerto Rico this week.

Courtney is wearing a T-shirt that says, Be Nice. I guess one of the other girls should have worn it so Courtney could actually read the message.  

Nikki gets a one on one. Ben’s only plan for the date was to walk around that was spoiled with all the rain. They proceed to buy culturally authentic clothing. Nikki looked almost cute while Ben, dressed head to toe in white, looked like an old man, but not in the cute way.

Humidity is doing no favors for Ben’s hair.  

Yet surprise, surprise Nikki is “falling” for him. Puke.

Bachelor Review: Week 4

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Beautiful shots of Utah go Utah!

In the first three minutes Ben has already said, “The women” ten times. He has a way with words, that one.

Ben drags out his words and then pauses abruptly at the end of each word, kind of like a white Obama of sorts.

I love how he acts like he planned the trip to Park City. Oh Benny boy, we know the low ratings you have given this show couldn’t sustain a foreign trip, but it’s cute how you’re trying to trick us. Although ABC did pull out the heli ride, it’s good to know some things never change.

Bachelor Review: Episode 3

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They are all being whisked off to San Francisco. Ben says it is because the girls need to know more about where he is from in case one of them lives there one day. Ben, sweetie, I think it’s because ABC is on a bit of a budget. Turns out I’m the only one tuning in this season.

His sister looks better this season than last.

Chris H. shows up to explain the rules. Which are, if you get a rose you stay if you don’t you leave. Thanks for clarifying Chris. Again, that would we do without you?

Emily gets the one on one. She raised a lot of well thought out questions; she is a PhD student you know. What should I wear? Is he going to like me? Emily the two questions you need to ask. Am I loose enough to keep up with Blakley? Am I bitchy (or as Ben put it down to earth) enough to keep Courtney out of the ring?

Bachelor Review: Week 2

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This is not the Bachelor it’s actually a really fancy game. The object of the game is to see how many times the words “women” and “journey” can be used. So far all Ben is saying is “Women, the women, getting to know the women, I care about these women, these women are amazing.” As far as the journey prize goes, the title is with Kacie B.  

I love that he has to use Kacie’s last initial. I know that was a continual frustration back when I was in the dating world. In fact sometimes I still slip up and say things like, “I’m falling for you Mason S.”

Kacie B. has a one on one with Ben. They peruse the streets of Sanoma. Ben shows her his home town and Kacie shows him her baton twirling skills. Just as I thought this seemed like a normal first date, no private jets, no helicopters…ABC came to crash the party. The two went to a private theater on the big screen were baby pictures (no, the naked baby pictures were not excluded) of Kacie and Ben. It was honesty like a wedding video. Ben became emotional, which the women, love about him. You’ve got to hand it to ABC; they really don’t waste any time. All in all NOT a normal first date.

Bachelor Review: Week 1

Ben is our bachelor. You know he’s the one who proposed to Ashley and she rejected him, but you didn’t really feel that sorry for him because you kind of felt like he dodged a bullet. Ya, it’s that guy.

He is cute with shaggy hair; he owns a vineyard and has absolutely no personality. If anyone can find a total drone of a guy, it’s you, ABC. Your generosity is astounding.

The episode starts with some glamour shots of our boy Ben. We particularly liked the orange tank top. (The only thing worse was Ed’s green shorty swimsuit… Do you remember?)