Monday, February 6, 2012

Bachelor Review: Week 6

We’re down to nine women.

The women are in Panama City, Panama this week.
The women are thrilled to be there. The women can “see themselves with him.”
The first time the women saw Ben the women looked like a bunch of drooling puppies. No really, I think I saw one trying to hump his leg.
The women are falling for him. May I quote the man of the hour, “I can Potentially see myself with some of the women.” Wait? Is ABC promoting polygamy now?
Has he ever heard of any other term to refer to the female species? This is getting rough.
Courtney, Mrs. Skinny- dippin- so- sure -of- herself- little- snot, is jealous of Kacie B.
Dear Courtney, jealousy, not a good look for you.
Kacie and Ben take a, drum roll….. Helicopter to a remote island where they will most likely be left to die, at least then maybe we’d have something to talk about, right?
They bring out their survival tools and Kacie laughs at each and everything he does.  I bet she was more exhausted at pretending he was funny than by catching her dinner.
Courtney could not bring up skinny dipping more if she tried. She is trying, really, really hard.
On the group date they randomly (yeah, right) run into a small village where the ladies gave all the bachelor women beads for their boobies, and for Ben they supplied a loin cloth. Yes, I’m sure they didn’t know they were coming.
Courtney was the only woman to free-boob it under the beads. Ben really liked this… I can tell he’s taking this journey very seriously. He’s totally ready for a serious relationship; I don’t care what you say.
Meanwhile ABC spent the entire time blurring out Courtney’s bare chest. I’m sure those camera guys hate their job.
He really likes Courtney; yep he’s a scum bag.
Jamie seems sensible. Therefore, this is not the show for her.
Emily made a joke this week instead of her usual tattle tale episode. Good on you Em.
Emily tries to apologize to Courtney. Courtney, the class act that she is, does not accept. Can I speak for us all and say, Courtney, we desperately want to smack your pouty face.
Rachel and Blakley go on a two-on-one. Am I really using terms like two-on-one?
We learn the Blakley is more than a competitive softball player. She is also a competitive dater.
Also, a side note, does anyone know why her name is Blakley? My bet, Blake had a sex change, and viola, Blakley is born.
Rachel and Blakley compete by way of salsa dancing. It was terribly uncomfortable.
Blakley made a scrapbook of their journey so far. This is hilarious, even more hilarious, this is not the first scrapbook move we’ve seen on the bachelor. What people will do for a rose, it’s amazing.  
In the end Blakley goes home. I’m actually kind of surprised by this. Blakley seems like his type. Blakey cries and hangs on to Ben for a very long and uncomfortable period of time.
Chris H. shows up. This is never good. He approaches Casy S. says he’s been told by three different sources that she is love with someone from home.
Chris H. Love patrol. I’m surprised he didn’t arrest her.
Casey denies it. Says she may still be in love with someone back home, but she doesn’t want to be. Well, at least, those are the words our adorable Chris H. helped her create.
Instead of escorting her right to prison, Chris marches her to Ben’s place to just, “Have a talk.”
Ben sends her packing. What would we do without our love detective Chris H.
The previews made this seem, by the way she was crying, that there had been a death in the family or something, no… no… it was just ABC spinning it.
Casey is an ugly crier. This is why she hasn’t opened up to Ben. Can you really blame her?
Jamie gets the boot. Here is the take away. In the bachelor there are sluts and sob stories. You may think there are more categories but you would be wrong. Jamie had a good sob story she really should have pulled it out because slutty just didn’t work for her.  
Next week it’s Belize with six women. Join me here for more tears, skinny dipping and phrases such as falling, journey and the women.  

1 comment :

  1. I love these bachelor re-caps. I haven't watched in years but my sister suggested I watch it just for a laugh and somehow I got sucked in! I can't seem to help myself. You crack me up!