Bachelor Review: The Proposal

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It was one hell of a journey wasn't it folks?

Through this journey we have had helicopters, hot tubs and elephants. We have seen our dear friend, shirtless Sean, through one amazing woman after the next. What an amazing journey this journey has been.

You  know the drill the girls meet Sean's family and surprise. They love them both. Shocker.

And get this twist... Both of the girls like his family. NO WAY....

Sean pretends like he doesn't know who he's going to ask and his mother gets concerned. Why was she so concerned? He had the ring, the location, and the speech all prepared he just didn't know which girl he was going to ask to be his wife. Minor detail.

Bachelor: My Final Prediction

It's you Chris it's always been you. It was you on Emily's season, and it's you all over again. Let me be the one to make you happy let me be your prince charming. Chris, for the first time let's not make a liar out of you and finally give America "The most shocking Bachelor finale ever. What do you say?

p.s. Trying to get a post out about Women Tell All, but I have a very sick baby. WTF doesn't my baby know it's the morn after Bachelor?
Thanks for the wonderful photo.

Bachelor Review: Sean Episode 9

Down to the final three and its overnight date time. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Lindsay takes her turn in the sack I mean on the date first. They go to a market in Thailand wherein she eats bugs for Sean. Nothing says I love you like bug breath.

They feed monkeys and show us plenty of swimsuit shots of the adorable couple.

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The humidity really isn’t doing Lindsay any favors. But the poor thing professes her love anyway.

Sean starts really building up Lindsay. Saying he can see the two of them married and picking out a house together. My question: How can Lindsay just leave behind her major career as substitute teacher? Such a sacrifice.

Bachelor Review: Episode 8

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Let's cut right to the chase. Little miss Des is a goner. Were you surprised? I actually was. I thought Catherine was going to get the boot. Instead he'll probably string her along another week and then cut her.

Let's take it from the top. First we travel to Houston to meet AshLee's parents. You know her story right? Well it's basically her parents telling her story in much the same way that we have heard it all season long.

 Her parents seemed nice and normal, so obviously this was a huge disappointment to me. No siblings to disapprove of Sean... it made for a boring meeting.

I like AshLee, but there is no sense of humor to speak of. Not to play Chris Harrison but my advice to Sean: Marry someone who makes you laugh, or you are going to make a long-ass life for yourself.

Bachelor Review: Episode 5

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 So I kind of missed the first hour of this week's show. I heard I missed a one-on-one and a group date. First of all the fact that we all throw around terms such as one-on-one and group date with no question as to their reference should have all of us worried. Second of all, what did I miss? Please fill me in? Won't you?

I stepped in just as AshLee was saying that she was in LOVE with Sean. Chick is getting bold. I bet she already has a little bin organized with Sean memorabilia and labeled with glitter calligraphy. Well, maybe glitter is too messy but you get my point.

Bachelor Review: Sean Episode 4

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My Monday night began with an underwear shot from yours truly. Wow, ABC now I’ve seen more of Sean than his 25 steady girlfriends have.

 Selma is awarded the first one-on-one of the night. They start out in a limousine, where Selma announces what she weighs to America. Thanks Selma that was important to us all. Then they hop on a private plane and end up in a desert. 

Selma is disappointed when she learns she will be rock climbing in the heat. She claims she hates the heat, feels puffy, and is not athletic. But for Sean she suppresses who she really is and gets her tiny ass up that rock. 

Bachelor Review: Episode 3

 

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We start the night with a kissing Guinness world record with Washington DC girl. Nothing like forced romance in front of a huge crowd to heat up your pants.

They finish the night by talking about their perfect families and their amazing connection. I’m beginning to think I could write these reviews without actually watching the show, but for you I will press on. 

Bachelor Review: Sean episode 1

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We start off the night with a bunch of shirtless workouts with Sean, because some things never change, do I already hear a chopper?

Then they replay Emily’s entire season so we can relive Sean’s heartache. Thanks ABC.

Next we meet our list of ladies. Tierra is in love with her dog, just like Ashley was… so completely adorable, not obnoxious in the slightest.

 Ashlee is in love with organization, which is such a sweet way to deal with massive amounts of anxiety. Good for you honey.

Then we meet fifty shades of grey girl, she seems really nice and super classy.