Friday, June 8, 2012

A One Way Ticket

Photo Credit weheartit.com
Sun blazing through her windows Alice was forced to wake up. As she sat up in her bed the mirror across her room reminded her, rudely, of the night she had suffered before. Mascara smudged under her eyes, and why am I still in my running clothes, she thought. She had not recalled how she had gotten home and into her bed. What she did recall with clarity was what she had discovered from the police. At 32 she had learned the truth about who her dad really was. She wondered how she had never known. Her whole life had turned upside down in a matter of weeks.

Knock, knock

Uh, who could that be?
Alice stumbled around her room for a robe.

Knock, knock, “Al, I know you’re in there.”
Uh Ellie, what did she want? Did she come to stare at the beast?

Alice slowly opened the door, “Hey sis.” She leaned against the door half for strength and half to cover up the fact that she had not yet dressed or showered for the day.  
Ellie held up a cup of coffee, “Now can I come in?”
“Always,” Alice swayed her arm toward the living room invitingly.

They both immediately sat down at the kitchen table, directly across from each other, both clasped their coffee cups with two hands almost in uniform.
“Al, I know this is a lot to handle, it is for me too. But eventually we’ve all got to get back on our feet.”

Alice’s head tilted heavily toward one shoulder, her eyes on the verge of rolling, “Listen Ellie, we’re not the same you and I. You have a husband, a baby, a job.” Alice backed away from the table, arms folded, “See Ellie, in the end, you win, you happy?”

“So you’re just going to sit here and sulk? Maybe, Al, just maybe, this isn’t about you. Dad needs our help. He’s all we have Al.”
“Oh, he needs our help? Hah!” her head cocked back in an exaggerated expression of laughter. “If Dad wants me to purchase him a one way ticket to the moon, then yes, consider me his travel agent, beyond that, I’m done.”

Ellie’s hand came up and cupped her chin, she starred across the table at her avoidant sister, “I really hope you’ll change your mind Al. It would be good for you, you know, to forgive.”

Alice returned her words of encouragement with silence and a glare.
Ellie stood up, “Well, I’ve got to go; John and I need to go to Home Depot.”

Alice closed the door, and stood against it for a moment.
Alice shook her head back and forth mimicking her sister while speaking aloud to her empty apartment, “Oh me and John and my normal, put-together-life are going to Home Depot, because the biggest problem in our life is a blown-out sprinkler head.”

Screw her and her normal life.
The thing that pissed Alice off the most, Ellie was never wrong.  

***Blogger's note***This post was inpired by Write on Edge. We had 500 words and needed to use the phrase "To the Moon."

18 comments :

  1. Reading this, I almost forgot about the prompt. It's hard when someone is perceived to have it all and then, of course, be right about something. Al sounds lonely which makes me said. Loved the story.

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  2. I want to know Al better, I'm not sure at this point if she's entirely deserving of sympathy! :)

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    1. Agreed. I think Alice needs to start rising above it all. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  3. I don't feel a bit sorry for Alice right now, since she is wallowing in the self-pity trough. But I do know how hard it is to forgive, so maybe she will come around.

    Did you mean to say this? "They both immediately sat down at the kitchen table, directly across from each other, both clasped their coffee cups with two hands almost in uniform." The word 'immediately' doesn't flow with the sentences that came before, so I thought maybe it just slipped in there by accident. Without that word, everything is perfect.

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    1. Thank you for the concrit. I'm so greateful you took the time to read it.

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  4. I'm not sure I like Alice. Then, I don't know what's happened to her and why she's so bitter.

    Concrit: "...she starred across the table at her avoidant sister..."
    The word "avoidant" isn't necessary. You showed that very well and didn't need to tell it.

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    1. Yes I think Alice needs to make some sort of come back in order to be likeable again. Thanks so much for your comment and help.

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  5. Oh, wow. I really wanted to know more about these characters. What a creative use of the prompt, too - I almost didn't notice it in there!

    Thank you!

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  6. Al sounds vaguely familiar to me. Too familiar. Ugh! And her sister, sounds like MY sister. Weird. I liked the way you told your story and the anger and resentment that is so evident in Al. Enjoyed this very much!

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by. I really wanted to capture the compicated relationship these sisters have. I'm so glad to hear ytou could relate.

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    1. Thanks for always reading my stuff. Means a lot.

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  8. Oh yeah. I certainly need to know more to decide if I like Alice or not. Either way, I think you showed her emotions well. I'd like to know what Dad did to cause this!

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    1. Thank you for your comment. I'm hoping to make some more progress on this story, hopefully I won't leave you in the dark too much longer.

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  9. I love tales of sibling jealousy. I think you captured the dynamics well.

    I had a bit of trouble with this line: "She had not recalled how she had gotten home and into her bed." It reads awkwardly. Try "She couldn't remember how she got home, let alone in her bed" or "She struggled to piece the foggy details of the night together, to remember how she got home and in bed" The passive past tense is a bit too passive in the context of the rest of the post, if that makes any sense.

    Love the take on the prompt. Well done!

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    1. Each time you stop by and read my posts I'm grateful. Yes,it does make sense, that reads a lot smoother. Thanks again!

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  10. I had to smile a bit at this piece. I have three younger sisters and at some point in our lives, one was always Ellie - together, steady, secure. Well, all of us but one has been her. ;)

    Great conversation and play between the sisters. And great line with buying Dad the one way trip to the moon.

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    1. I'm so glad to hear you could connect with the sister conversation. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.

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