For My Bachelor Fans

The pumpkin walk had something for everyone this year. Including the most creative rose ceremony in Bachelor history.

Wait.. Is that the final rose I see? Where's Chris?

Bachelorette Review: Finale

photo courtesy of msn.com

First of all, can I just take a moment to thank you for journeying this journey with me? It has been an amazing, dramatic, emotional, exciting, thrilling and moving journey. I think Chris would agree.

It’s meet the parents time, Jef meets the parents first and lucky for Jef, He loves parents. Remember?

Bachelorette Review: Men Tell All

Photos courtesy of bing.com

May I start with a quick summarization of the human race? Some people live their lives for themselves. Some people live their lives for their kids. Others live their lives for men/women tell all. Yes I am the “others.”

Chris begins by telling us that the finale will be the” One of the most dramatic endings ever.” Chris, with such a detailed description you gave it all away! I’m fisting the air as I say, “Damn you Chris, Damn you.”

Bachelorette Review: Week 9

Photo credit: Radar online

Our journey takes us to the sunny beaches of Curacao this week.

This week the final three are given the opportunity to show their moves in the bedroom. It’s really quite special.

The first date in this journey is with Sean and his deep V shirt. A very deep V. Is there some kind of deep V rule? The deeper the V the bigger the _________. (Is that blank big enough to use some capitals with maybe some exclamation points?)

Bachelorette Review: Week 8

photo credit abc.com

Hometown Dates! 

Our journey begins in Chicago where we have the privilege of meeting Chris’s family. 

We find out Chris is Polish. To date this is the most interesting thing we have learned about Chris. 

His family was unfortunately quite normal. His polish dad had a thick accent and sported a gold necklace.

Chris’s sister was skeptical and suggested she break it off sooner rather than later if he wasn’t going to be the one. As you know Emily heeds her advice.

Next we’re off to St. George, UT to meet Jef”s family. We don’t meet his parents because they are obviously mission presidents. Oops, I mean they are doing charity work (wink, wink). 

Bachelorette Review: Week 7

Photo Courtesy of facebook

Our journey takes us to Prague this week. Six men remain which mean two hearts need to be broken to get us ready for hometown dates.

Arie gets the one-on-one. This is when our kind and generous host steps in and exposes the rumors surrounding the relationship Arie had with one of the producers.

Bachelorette Review: Week 6

Photo courtesy of facebook

Our journey takes us to Croatia this week where the men ride asses and look like them too.

But first things first, Travis gets a one-on-one. You remember Travis he’s the egg guy.

Emily and Travis tour the city; actually I’m just assuming that’s what they did. Their date was boring and so I opted to talk to my friends instead.

In the end no egg will save him. He’s a goner folks.

Back at home we find Ryan in some sort of leotard. You guys, what was that tank top number he was sporting? He looked more like a contestant on So You Think You can Dance than the pro- athlete- has-been he’s so keen on mentioning.

A challenging question for you; Does Doug talk about his son more, or does Ryan talk about his football career more? Boys, WE GET IT!

Then comes the group date where the men ride donkeys around while wearing form fitting sleeveless shirts and kilts. They then play old school games to prove their strength and you know the drill, the strongest man wins while the fair lady sits on the sidelines.

You may be thinking that how far a man can throw a log is not important in deciding a marital partner. I assure you, you are wrong, and abc is right. My man can throw logs all day long and it is the secret to a happy long lasting relationship.

Bachelorette Review: Week 5

photo credit: facebook

Our journey takes us to London this week where Chris is there to greet us by wearing a purple scarf. Chris, this is getting out of control.

Sean (the blond) gets the one-on-one.

Sean stands up in a busy London park and professes all the things he doesn’t know about love. I was thoroughly confused as to why this incident occurred.

If you missed it, I assure you it was no Gettysburg Address.

Bachelorette Review: Week 4

Photo Courtesy of facebook

Yes, the first scene did show Michael (the long haired guy) with a yellow head band on.

Our helpful host enters the room to announce Emily and her groupies will be traveling to Bermuda. I was more caught off guard by the shirt Chris was wearing than by the bright yellow male headband. Did you see it? It was some kind of floral number with purple cuffs. Modern Family’s Cameron is going to have to start charging Chris Rent on these ridiculous ensembles.

Doug, oh wait you don’t know his as Doug, I mean THE WORLD’S MOST GLORIOUS DAD, now you’re with me aren’t you? Ya, so WMGD gets the one-on-one.

Bachelorette Review: Week 3

Photo Credit Facebook

We start the night off with a one on one with Chris. Chris, well, we don’t really know much about him, and after the date we still don’t know too much about him seeing as they mostly discussed how good looking the other one was.

In true bachelorette form they did have to scale a building before dinner. Yes, you guessed it; they compared this adventure to relationships. Emily got awfully scared and she was so impressed by Chris because he stayed by her side. Like where the hell was going to go? He was in a harness hooked to the same building you are at about 50 ft, up. Options become a little limited at this point.

It ended with another provide concert. Emily loves her some country doesn’t she?

Bachelorette Review: Week 2

Image courtesy of facebook

We open with Emily talking to her fellow soccer moms. Their jaws hung in admiration, as they knew this was their once in a lifetime opportunity to live vicariously through the bachelorette.

Ryan gets the first one on one. You know him; he’s the one who was a pro ball player of some kind who has since turned into a coach. By the way is his hair fashion forward or just plain stupid?

I kind of liked that she was wearing flats when she picked up Ryan. Also, I liked that she drove.

All the guys at the pool swooned as they saw Emily in her casual wear. They claimed they preferred her that way. It was kind of a relief for us women, right? Like, now when Mason comes home and I’m in a spaghetti stained t-shirt wearing my orthotic clogs, in my heart I can know, ya, he probably thinks I’m way hot.

Here’s the big surprise of the night. Emily and Ryan had kind of a normal date. (Well if you don’t count the private concert with the entire town of Charlotte watching.)

Bachelorette Review: Episode 1

Facebook thanks for this priceless photo. I owe you one.

Emily is our Bachelor. Dear sweet Emily. Dear sweet, foolish Emily.

Emily would like her daughter to have a father figure. She’s hoping to find him on this show. Emily, would you be willing to settle for a douche bag type figure for your daughter?

Okay let us meet the line of D-bag’s.

You know the drill they all tell us what they do for a living. Then we get the fitness shots. Weight lifting, running and complete self absorption seem to be the common hobby.