Bachelorette Review: Week 5

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Our journey takes us to London this week where Chris is there to greet us by wearing a purple scarf. Chris, this is getting out of control.

Sean (the blond) gets the one-on-one.

Sean stands up in a busy London park and professes all the things he doesn’t know about love. I was thoroughly confused as to why this incident occurred.

If you missed it, I assure you it was no Gettysburg Address.

The date ends with Emily and Sean eating dinner in a prison. It may have been the most realistic marriage prep this show has ever seen. I mean, marriage..prison..marriage..prison, after awhile it all kind of seems the same.  (I mean.. except if you’re married to Mason, of course).

Okay, sorry I’m continually distracted by Jef’s so called style. You guys, I think skinnies, converse high tops, and modern Elvis hair are all totally cool, I honestly do. But these things have an age and that age is 17. Jef, I’m having a hard time writing this off as your personal style.

More news on the style board, Ryan is wearing a scarf, no it’s not purple.

Back at the house Kalon verbalizes the dreaded statement and refers to Ricki as baggage. DUN.DUN.DUN.

Off to the group date. It’s time for public humiliation assignment number four. The men are all assigned characters and challenged to perform Shakespeare.

Kalon, of course, took his part completely serious, all while remaining to be a total colon.

Kalon, claims he was born to play this role. Really? I thought you born to be an luxury brand consultant. Yes Alex, I’ll take Prada for 400.

The only portion of this date I enjoyed was John’s statement about the way Doug’s lips felt when he kissed him. John, you seen kind of funny, makes me think you won’t last.

Back at the house Chris tells Doug what Kalon said. DUN.DUN.DUN. (I love that he tells Doug, just last week Chris was telling Doug how much he dislikes him. Now this week he’s asking big daddy to fight his battles.)

This is kind of perfect for Doug. For one it allows him some time to talk about his son, you do remember he has a son right? I really really really really hope you don’t ever forget Doug has a son. You guys, Doug has a son.

Next Doug tells Emily and is deemed the hero. Joke’s on Chris.

Oh and Ryan is found wearing another scarf.

Emily approaches Kalon about his baggage statement. Kaoln does not retract his statement and just like the preview already told you. Emily tells Kalon, “To get the F out.”

Ya, ya it was really dramtic, but the question of the night remains. Do two very stylish scarf's trump one purple scarf? I'm perplexed.

The other fatality of the night was Alejandro.

Hope to see you again next week. It looks like we’re in for a tear bath.