Bachelor Review: Sean episode 1

Photo courtesy of abc.com

We start off the night with a bunch of shirtless workouts with Sean, because some things never change, do I already hear a chopper?

Then they replay Emily’s entire season so we can relive Sean’s heartache. Thanks ABC.

Next we meet our list of ladies. Tierra is in love with her dog, just like Ashley was… so completely adorable, not obnoxious in the slightest.

 Ashlee is in love with organization, which is such a sweet way to deal with massive amounts of anxiety. Good for you honey.

Then we meet fifty shades of grey girl, she seems really nice and super classy.

To fill up time ABC has Sean and Arie shoot the breeze. It proved to be a very productive meeting as Arie let Sean in on his kissing tips. You guys, there was tongue wagging involved. Thanks Arie, you’re the best.

Next the filing out of the limo section of our program in where adult women make completes asses out of themselves.

One special lady enters doing backbends and  falls over mid bend. Honestly, it made my night, she was amazing.

Daniella made up a little handshake for her and Sean. So cute, it like she was second grader and we all know.. .The men, they do enjoy themselves a younger lady. I think she’s onto something here.

Barefoot yoga gal. namaste to you darling.

Then one does some football move, she is actually not the first chick to pull this move. I’ve seen it on season’s past. Yes, I have been watching this show that long, and in no way is that depressing.

Then the wedding bells chime and out climbs the bride. Yes one of them wore a wedding dress. No, she doesn’t seem crazy at all, just practical, very practical.

But the big surprise of the night, lady number 26 is…. Drum roll…. Kacie B. from Ben’s season! I know I didn’t think it was that alarming either, but I think you were supposed to be shocked. So let’s just put our hands together for ABC for supposedly breaking the rules.

Gasp, shock, awe, do my eyes deceive me? He’s handing out rose’s right and left all before the rose ceremony. Does anything in this world make sense anymore?  

Are there a lot of models on this season? Because these skinny bitches cannot handle their boos.

The fifty shades of Grey girl gets way drunk and brings out a tie. I know, I was floored, I voted her least likely to be the sloppy drunk. Didn’t she seem like the kind of girl you take home to meet your mom?

This season is in no way identical to every other season I’ve seen before.  Sean, you are such a rule breaker.

In the end wedding dress girl gets a rose. Teaching us, once again, that anything is possible.

See you next week. It looks like we have tears, tears, tears and at least one broken neck so we should all be thoroughly entertained.