Bachelorette Review: Episode 1

Facebook thanks for this priceless photo. I owe you one.

Emily is our Bachelor. Dear sweet Emily. Dear sweet, foolish Emily.

Emily would like her daughter to have a father figure. She’s hoping to find him on this show. Emily, would you be willing to settle for a douche bag type figure for your daughter?

Okay let us meet the line of D-bag’s.

You know the drill they all tell us what they do for a living. Then we get the fitness shots. Weight lifting, running and complete self absorption seem to be the common hobby.

Emily is nervous and Chris is there to talk her through it. Thanks Chris.

There is a single dad in the mix, which will immediately move him to the top of leader board, but is it kind of cheap to open with the “I’m a single dad line?” I think so.

What was the worst pick up line of the night? Was it the Biology teacher who was there to make Chemistry with her? Or was it the skate board boy? Or what about the boom box boy? Or what about the guy who brought a glass slipper? Or maybe we ought to give it the old tranny granny? So many to choose from.

The ostrich egg? Really?

And then dummm dummm dummm Kalon arrives by helicopter. (The luxury brand consultant) He was late. Late?! What was he busy doing? Consulting a client through another rough decision, Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger? Also Kalon… Whose name is Kalon?

Bobble Head dolls? Really?

Okay the Seattle single dad. The letter from his son? Could he exploit this kid anymore? In the end the exploitation worked, and he ended up with the first impression rose.

The fitness model goes home and the ostrich egg guy doesn’t. Funny.

Although the model man took it well. His reaction: taking off his shirt and telling us what Emily is missing out on. Oh shoot Em, you let go of a real winner.