Bachelor Review: Home Town Dates

Photo courtesy of abc.com

It was home town dates this week, usually a favorite of mine. I love, love when they tell their families they love him. Their parents typically question, as they know the bachelor is dating three other women, though mommy and daddy usually come around as they see the sparkle in their daughter’s eye. Ahhh, sweet, it’s hilarious every time. 

First we met Lindzi’s family. She rode up on a horse, like I even needed to tell you that. Her parents seemed normal and nice, so that was disappointing. 

Ben and Lindzi participated in a fancy carriage race. They all talked about their journey and horses. Like what else is there in life?

Ben travels to Tennessee where Kacie B. meets him at her high school so she can show her baton twirling skills. It was so awesome. It was a true show of talent not of her juvenile immaturity. 

Kacie’s parents, specifically her dad, are very concerned about this journey. I didn’t get why they were so concerned. I mean, out of a gazillion seasons there has been at least two couples who have made it. I’d say, let’s all get our hopes up, why not?

Her dad was being incredibly realistic, rational and reasonable, and there is just no place for that kind of behavior on the Bachelor, NO PLACE!

Both Kacie’s parents expressed that they would not approve of Kacie and Ben living together before marriage. Please note: Morals and standards will be your demise if you are on this show. 

Next it’s off to Texas to meet Nikki’s family. The two lovers shopped around and bought cowboy garb leaving Ben looking more ridiculous than even his hair does. 

Still hating his hair!

Nikki’s family seemed normal as well, again, disappointing. 

Her dad just doesn’t want to see her hurt again. We could really sum up all the hometown dates with this single phrase, couldn’t we?

Nikki says she loves him and he stares at her awkwardly. It was painful. I know he can’t say the words, but his face was not excited. Then again half his face is covered with that brown mop, so maybe I’m reading the social cues wrong.  

They saved the best for last, Courtney’s family. You have to understand I was anxiously waiting to meet the people responsible for raising this gem of a woman. 

It was not nearly entertaining enough. My theory, her mom, her dad, her sister—they are all paid actors.

I mean really, did you hear the conversation between Courtney and her mom; it was like being at a tea party with strawberry shortcake.

Courtney’s voice was raised as high as a seven year old girl on helium, “Hi mom, you look pretty.”

Her mom responding in the same tone, “Thank you Courtney, you look happy.”

 No mother and daughter talk like this. 

Courtney talks about how Ben is so different from all the others, of course he is, how all the other men have taken advantage of her, but Ben appreciates her. 

Courtney, a tip, if I may, maybe the fact that you continually take off your clothes makes men, oh I don’t know, not appreciate you.

Courtney plans a little surprise for Ben, and by surprise I mean surprise wedding. No kidding, she set up a fake wedding. They wrote their vows, exchanged rings the whole thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if somehow it was all legal and they are actually married. She psycho, and Ben likes it. 

Her sister tattled on her and told the family about the skinny dipping episode; because of course it was the first thing she told her sister. Her parents didn’t act the surprised in the least. I’m sure they heard much worse about their little sweetheart. 

In the end, Ben has a very helpful interview with Chris H. Oh Chris H. you looked glazed over during the entire interview, aside from the times you periodically nodded your head. 

ABC can you use the money you saved on not giving Ben a haircut and purchase some acting lessons for our beloved Chris H.? Just a thought. 

In the end, Kacie B. goes home. Did it surprise you? I think once Ben learned of her high morals, or at least her family’s high morals he was no longer interested. Especially since overnight dates are next week. 

When Kacie was spared a rose the other girls hugged her, except Courtney, she took one small step toward Kacie, even that amount of sympathy proved to be exhausting for Courtney. 

Bachelor lessons learned this week: Lower your standards and always, always create a fake wedding. 

Join me next week as the foursome heads to Switzerland.

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Also it’s time to place your bets. Who will win in the end? 

My prediction: Courtney will be “winning.”