Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Bachelor Finale

I meant to get this up so much sooner than I did. I was running into technical difficulties right and left.

There has been a lot of buzz over the finale. In fact you are probably bachelored right out. So I'll make it quick and punchy. I'm sure that's how Juan would want it, assuming I don't interrupt him of course.

The gist is there is not juan woman in America that likes Mr. Juan Pablo. Except for Nikki.

He proposed to neither but dumped Clare.

Allow me to back up. The girls meet his family they kindly nudge the girls to run the opposite direction.

Juan's mom said to Clare, that he is hyperactive. Did she really mean hyperactive or was that the language barrier trying to tell us she thinks he kid is a bit of a loser?

Then his mom continued raving about her son and said, "He can be rude." Now I cannot be misinterpreting that can I? Rude is rude.

Then Clare talked herself right out of that red flag by using Juan's age old excuse. He's just being honest.

Is it me or does the umbrella of honesty keep covering more ground. It seems to encompass being rude, mean, disrespectful and dumb.

 Combine such honesty with a language barrier and cultural differences and you have the making of a.... Como se dice... Asshole?

Apparently Juan and Clare had a moment in the helicopter where there were no cameras and he said something very offensive. I have to say if our forward not so smart Clare was offended it had to be bad. She was outraged and said she was not just an object. She went further to say this may be her last date with him.

I've got my guesses as to what he said to her but I won't repeat Juan word of it on this blog.

She saw him later that night and approached him on the issue. He smoothed it over along with her hair and acted like she was the crazy one. Yep that's what these kind of fellas do. Clare gives in and stays. Mistake!

Chris Harrison kept us abreast on what the live audience was thinking.

They all said it was painful to watch Clare suppress her intuition. And it was it really was.

Nikki meets the family and they put her through the same warning round they did Clare. Didn't work on her either.

Nikki makes him something cutsie with pictures and seals it up with another proclamation, "I LOVE YOU."

Then we all know what happened he says to Clare, "I wish the earth would suck me." What in the world does that mean.? In any language what does that mean? Someone tell me!

Clare gives it to him straight, finally. I kind of liked that, but it was a little late this guy has been a grade A D-bag the entire season. He needed his ass handed to him long before this moment.

Then Nikki struts herself to the proposal podium. She again announces her love for him. He says he has a ring in his pocket but won't propose because he's not ready and then says with an exaggerated wink,"But I like you a lot."

It was Horrible! Horrible!

Then an interview with Clare. Where she says she's moved on and has all the closure she needs. Good job Clare. Finally a pageant answer I can agree with.

Next up we have Nikki and Juan. The big surprise was suppose to be Juan Proposing to Nikki. They offered the big money to do just that. He didn't deliver which was good.

Chris Harrison, a bit embarrassed by Juan's lack of surprise began to bully Juan about saying the "L" word to Nikki. The more Chris nudged the more Juan rebelled.

It was horribly uncomfortable for us and for Nikki. What's her deal? Didn't you think she was smarter than this?

p.s. I have sources telling me Juan lives with his parents in a two bedroom condo. No Juan is surprised by this.

Juan Pablo is a loser. Let's hope Nikki is getting paid.


  1. It doesn't get much better than this, your review that is. Once again, another shocking ending to a wonderful journey with ABC.

    1. Kristin,
      Thanks for reading. Juan is the loneliest number. :)