Friday, November 11, 2011


On a cold afternoon she sat at her computer in a desperate attempt to distract herself from feeling. The phone buzzed, as she looked down at the all too familiar name she had to ask herself, am I in the mood for this today?

“I just called to see how you were doing?”

She dialed down the volume of her music, afraid if she turned it off completely it may require her to fully engage in a conversation she knew would be a painful one.

“I’m okay, “She said solemnly, she wasn’t.

“How did it go the other night?”

Still scrolling through her favorite site she passively replied, “I don’t know.”

She wanted to talk to the voice on the other end, she wanted to speak to her in anger and frustration, but knew on the other side of the phone was a person more wounded than her.

“Was he able to help you?” She asked in a humble tone, a tone she had yet to know from the most recognizable voice in her life.

“I don’t know.” Not making it any easier for the person she had been so hard on for so many years.

The silence on both ends of the phone spoke the same question, where do we go from here?

Breaking the stillness she quietly said, “I just don’t know if it’s worth it?”

More silence, but for the first time in weeks no tears, they were both tired of tears.

“Okay, well it is your decision. I can’t make it better, I use to try, and it was foolish and never worked. It’s up to you. I love you.”

She rubbed her eyelashes, something she always did when things got tense, hung her head and said, “Love you too.”

Disclaimer: This was a little writing exercise I did for Write on Edge. The challenge was as follows:
The conversation should be between two people/characters.
Using surroundings, body language, visual cues and blocking, in addition to the spoken words, show us who they are and what their relationship is without coming out and telling us!
( I'm sort of in love with the idea of someone giving me writing assignments, feels like I'm in school all over again. Did I mention I loved school.)


  1. Oh, this is heartbreaking. I felt so sad for her and her pain was so clear. Good job.

  2. Not only do I feel terrible for you character, I want to know more about what's going on. That means you did a good job. :-)

  3. Good job! I felt horribly sad for both of them...

  4. I enjoyed your piece. Silences speak volumes...
    Lots of unresolved issues between the two...

  5. I think silences in conversation, like rests in music, speak volumes. I like the small details of fidgety avoidance, e.g., scrolling through favorite sites while talking on the phone. People do this type of thing all the time.

  6. Hard...I felt the tension...lots of great details.

  7. very intriguing! You did a great job of pulling me I want to read the rest! AWESOME!

  8. Heart breaking. The silence was so telling of the tense conversation. Nice job.

    (I love the idea of someone giving me topics too-but I also loved school haha)

  9. I love the phone call conversation because it forces tight focus on the character we can "see." There are a lot of opportunities here to show more about your character's reactions. Instead of "On a cold afternoon" you can sprinkle in clues: chilly fingers, a steely sky, snow outside a window. When she scrolls her favorite site? That's a perfect example of showing. We all do it, so we know just from reading her action that she'd not fully engaged in the conversation, and the painful nature of words gives us a clue as to why.