Friday, January 13, 2012

Full with Flavor

She fretted over the menu. Her thoughts like a wild rat race, should I get the salad, I could request the dressing on the side, or maybe I’ll get the grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo on a wheat bun, or maybe I could ditch the bun altogether.
“And for you maim?” the waitress tapped her pen against her notepad.
Spontaneously Alice blurted, “I’ll have the burger,” thought for a moment longer, “with fries.”
Moments later a plate loaded with all of America’s favorite sins stared Alice in the face. It had been years since she had enjoyed a burger, and as for fries, that was pure blasphemy in her book.
She bit into that burger, ketchup glazed the corner of her mouth, she closed her eyes, suddenly all the noise of the restaurant disappeared. Alice could indentify every flavor of that burger. A hint of garlic, sugary ketchup, and Dijon mustard with a subtle zest of horseradish, she sensed a quick vinegar tang from the pickle, a watery crunch of the lettuce finished with a soft white buttery bun. Fully engaged in her meal, she didn’t look up just moved onto the golden crunchy fries. The potato within the crunch mild and perfectly soft while the fried shell of this wondrous food was just hard enough. Alice enveloped each fry with an unruly amount of ketchup; she forgot how much she loved this stuff.
Finally she came up for some air.
“Now that’s a burger.” Exclaimed Alice, as she ignorantly interrupted the conversation.
The waitress made her rounds, “Everything tasting okay over here?”
“Oh yes, everything is fabulous.” She said with a mouthful.
Conversation came to a halt, all the faces around the table looked at Alice with astonishment.
Alice put out both hands in front of her, snapped her wrists with a bit of attitude and said, “So what? I liked the burger okay.”
This post was prompted by Write on Edge. We were challanged to write a piece about flavor.


  1. I love this. I really love it. I could actually SMELL the burger and the setting from how you detailed and described each bite. And now I want a turkey burger - I don't eat red meat - and a big old plate of steak fries to go with it. Even the ketchup! This was fabulously written. :)

  2. The simplest foods often taste the best, a good burger and chips being a great example. Loved your descriptions, you had the reader there mouthful by mouthful. :)

  3. LOVE this! Love Alice! Love the moment - who cannot relate to that? We try and try to be good and then.... burger!

    For concrit, I would offer that less is more with dialogue. You already showing me every longing moment. Let your great words do the showing.

    For example:
    "Spontaneously Alice blurted, “I’ll have the burger,” thought for a moment longer, “with fries.”"

    Alice blurted, “I’ll have the burger." A moment later, she added, "With fries.”

    I know that is spontaneous - she was just thinking about dressing on the side, no mention of delicious red meat! Less words, more impact!

    Same with here: "Fully engaged in her meal, she didn’t look up just moved onto the golden crunchy fries." You don't need "fully engaged in her meal," the fact that she doesn't look up says that for you!

    Now, I have to content myself with my nonfat plain yogurt with a teaspoon of honey and fruit for lunch, instead of the delicious burger I am suddenly ravenous for!

  4. This is best description of the joy of rediscovering a real hamburger I've ever read!

    I also loved these words, "Moments later a plate loaded with all of America’s favorite sins..." So very, very true.

  5. Your description of the burger and fries were just so filled with details. I wanted a burger. And I don't eat burgers ;)

    I agree with Barbara in that her actions speak for her, but I do think you did an excellent job with this!

  6. Oh, god. Now I'm HUNGRY.

    Well done, there.