Friday, February 24, 2012


Image courtesy of the lens flare

Her mom pulled up to the entrance. A big red brick building with white Corinthian style columns, a beautiful building, or at least it could have been if her memory had allowed her to forget what had happened there. 

A deep breath followed by a sigh, “Here we go,” said Alice. 

Her mom cleared her throat, eyes a little glazed, “Good luck honey.”

“Thanks.” Alice hopped out of the car, feeling a bit juvenile, like she was 14 all over again, being dropped off by her mommy.

Alice clutched her coat walked through the brisk air and into the building where her sisters stood waiting. 

“Hey Al,” her sister said as she gave her a hug. “Ready?” 

Another sigh, “I guess.”

The three girls were led by the therapist into an office, a different office than the one which was previously used to deliver the horrific news. 

Thank God, thought Alice. 

The three sat on the couch as the therapist attempted a bit of small chat. They all amused his pointless questions. After all, they were polite.

Then he got down to it, “Tell me Eleanor how are you doing since we last spoke?”

Ellie answered with a confidence that Alice had only seen glimpses of. As her older sister began to explain exactly all the steps she had taken. Alice looked up at her, just like she use to when she was a kid. 
Enamored by her maturity, Alice felt even worse about her own stunted progress. 

“And Lucy?” the therapist asked.

Lucy’s voice took a deeper tone; it always did when she was nervous. She explained that she had talked to him in person; she had done research on his condition, and was getting along the best she knew how. 

Alice never knew the strength her sisters had, and the ultimate weakness which was her own. 

The therapist suggested there was only one decision to make. “You have got to decide if you want to be part of his recovery or if you don’t?”

Ellie spoke up first, “I’m going to be part of it.”

Lucy whispered, “I’m going to be part of it.”

Alice sat, arms folded, legs crossed thoughts of being part of it, or taking herself out polluted her mind, overwhelmed with the conflict before her she sat silent.


  1. Very interesting! Is this a continuing story? I wonder what condition it might be? I also found it interesting that Alice was dropped off, but her sisters were not. Speaks of the nice conflict between independence/dependence within the sister set you are building.

    Your plot and characters are compelling - in terns of concrit,you might want to read it out loud before you to pose to catch those pesky little grammar mistakes that get us all:

    "They [were] all amused [by] his pointless questions. After all, they [who? the sisters or the questions] were polite.

    Then he got down to it, “Tell me [,] Eleanor [,] how are you doing since we last spoke?”

    Compelling story you've got here!

    1. Thanks so much for your help. Yes, I'm really trying to work it into a story, but so far I only have random scenes.

  2. I know I've got some questions. THis definitely makes me want to read more.

    I had the same small concrite as Barbara. Read it aloud or have someone else do an edit to catch the little grammar things :)

    1. Carrie, thanks for stopping by I'm glad it captured your interest.

  3. I agree with the other commenters - is there more already? will there be?
    good job painting the sisters' relationship with each other. the POV character sounds like the baby of the group, along with being the least ready to deal with whatever the condition is.

    1. I'm just glad to hear you want more, and trust me I'm trying. Thanks for your comment.

  4. Yes, makes me wonder what is going on here with this Alice...

  5. Hmm, I'd like to see Alice a bit more tortured, or angry. She almost appears too calm for this session or for the seriousness of the event. I think this has some serious potential to be a driven story one could sink her teeth into. I'm ready for the next scene!

  6. Very interesting! I'm dying to hear more!