Tired and worn out all Alice wanted to do was bake some sugar cookies, eat more frosting than socially acceptable and finally start season one of Downton Abbey.
Resisting her urge, she filled her cup with coffee using slightly more cream than usual. As she generously poured the cream she thought, what the hell, these extra calories may just be the highlight of my week. She headed to the darkest corner of her home where her computer stood ready and waiting. She hacked away at the keyboard trying to create something, anything. Words ran through her fingers, sentences formed but a brick wall came crashing in between her mind and the screen, she could no longer see any value in what she was writing. “More pointless shit by your truly,” She said aloud.
She dropped her head in her hands, her thumbs playing with her earrings, pinkies rubbing her eyelashes she let out a sigh. She said to herself, if I’m not going to write maybe I’ll listen to some lyrics and call it research. She began streaming Brandi Carlile. Brandi could make it better, she thought. As she listened to her words,I am afraid of crossing lines
I am afraid of flying blindAfraid of inquiring minds
Afraid of being left behind
And when you feel like giving in
Or the coming of the end
Like your heart could break in two
Someone loves you, yeah.
She realized two things, One, Brandi did have all the answers, and two her fears had stopped her from writing what she wanted. What would the repercussions be? What if I write my truth? What will they think of me? As she questioned the limitations of this fear she noticed this was no isolated incident. She had questioned every little thing in her life. She sipped on her coffee, closed her eyes, the warmness trickled down her throat and when she opened her eyes the wall was gone. The fear, dissipated, she wrote and wrote. Her fingers barley keeping up with her thoughts, tears wet her cheeks. Once the truth was out and on paper, suddenly she felt light, she felt free. “Thanks Brandi,” She said as she closed her laptop.