Bachelorette Review: The Wedding

First of all, I have to mention that this was my favorite piece of mail I have received all year long, and yes I did get your Christmas card. But really with no warning at all my good friend sent out these wedding invites for a viewing party. Hilarious!

Did you tune in? What did you think?

Chris was in rare form. Was he not?

He first begins by bragging about the three couples that have tied the knot. And yes the three include our very own Ashley and JP. Chris proceeded to ramble off all the other successful couples that have made it due to this show. Of course, no one had heard of these alleged people he mentioned. It was embarrassing.

Chris had some riveting interviews with none other than Tristan and Ryan and the most hated couple on America, Molly and Jason. Molly and Jason are pregnant. Chris, will ABC be there to film the birth? I need to see that, all of that.

Next ABC replays the journey that Ashley and JP went through by playing past clips. Oh ABC, you’re always so original.

They also show how their life is now. Like how Ashley thinks her dog is her child. It was SO SO SO adorable. If there is one thing I love about Ashley it is seeing her baby-talk to her doggy, Boo. Not annoying in the slightest.

Next ABC takes us through their wedding planning journey. The journey includes dresses, tuxes, flowers, and table décor. But the question on everyone’s minds, what will Boo be wearing?

An overly tanned and unbuttoned chest hair showing, Neil Lane, assists in their selection of wedding bands. Neil, you really are fighting the good fight aren’t you? Keep it up buddy, no one can tell that you’re 100 yrs. Old.

But really her wedding dress was stunning, I’ll admit it. She looked amazing, but as you may recall I have never criticized her style, only her being.

Chris officiated the wedding, because they’re all close friends, of course. Chris botched it; he brought up the show way too much and tried to be funny. It didn’t work.

JP and Ashley wrote their own vows. That was a mistake. Ashley’s were slightly more embarrassing than JP’s. Perhaps, it was her delivery, like she was reciting a paper to her 7^th grade peers. Not good, you guys, not good.

Anyway, it happened, they tied the knot. Chris, will get his happily-ever-after in the form of a fat commission check.

Something happened with my DVR and it didn’t record much of the reception but I can only assume it was the most magical event in bachelorette history.