When Good Enough is Good Enough

I’m probably a lot like you. I strive to do my best. Whether that’s within mothering, the workplace, or doing something where progress is measured like a sport or a hobby. But are there certain times in our lives in certain situations where it would be best to not give our very best? To simply say, “good enough”, and be satisfied? I think so. 

A couple of months ago I headed out with a cycling group that I had ridden around with before. By before I mean two years ago when I had one less kid and was a much fitter and more capable cyclist than I am now. I was a little nervous but I thought, hey it’s the beginning of the cycling season, how fast can they be? The answer? Fast!

Before the ride, we all met up in the parking lot of our local bike shop. The ride leader told us the route. It was a route I had done before and I knew it was about a 40-mile bike ride. I thought, oh shit how am I going to back out of this? Here I am in the parking lot all spandex-ed up, on time, and ready to ride. I couldn’t make a justifiable excuse. So I decided I’d tough out this one ride. 

As the group started pedaling I looked down at my trusty bike computer I thought, OMG why in the world are they pacing at 20 mph? I didn’t know how I was going to maintain this kind of speed. I was suffering. 

Enter self-defeating thoughts. How did I let myself get this out of shape? I should lose more weight, then I’d be faster? I should have done more indoor spinning through the winter? I should have put in more miles by now. I should. I should. I should. 

I reached a point in the ride where I dropped off the back of the group, I simply couldn’t keep up. A couple of other ladies dropped with me. A generous and stronger rider hung back with us to help pull us through the rest of the ride. 

I made it home just before dark and reported how the ride went to my husband. In his ever logical mind he said, “Well, it sounds like you’ll have to put in more time on the bike.”  I then said, “I think I’ve reached the point where I need to decide how important it is to me to be that fast again.” 

I want to keep riding my bike because I love it. I want to keep riding because I feel it’s healthy for me and for moms in general to have hobbies and interests all of their own. I want to keep riding because it’s great exercise and most of the time I come home with a clearer mind. But at this point in my life, as a mom of three young kids, just getting out there might have to be good enough. 

The next week I went out to pedal around with a good friend. I told her about my experience. I noted that I was probably the youngest one on that group ride while simultaneously being the slowest. But in my new self-forgiving state I told her why I thought that was. I said, “The thirty something’s, like myself, are having babies. We are up to our eyeballs with homework, sports, diapers, laundry, and all the other goings-on of having older kids, plus babies.” 

I haven’t been with that group again, call me a quitter. I know I would have in my past perfectionist, high achieving, self-diminishing state of mind. But this time I’m going to forgive myself. I’m going to recognize and respect where my life is at. I’m doing a lot of wonderful things and I don’t have the capacity, energy, nor the time to be the best at all of them. So in this season of my life good enough is going to have to be good enough. 

I have no interest in quitting the things I love. I do have an immense interest in doing what I love and quitting the high expectations game. The game where I never won, only felt bad about myself and let it tarnish the things that brought me joy. 

I’m still out there pursuing my passion, filling my cup, and letting those ever addicting endorphins run throughout my body and that is GOOD ENOUGH for me.