Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Gym in January

 Treadmills back the day. Hilarious.
Image courtesy of pinterest.

I knew what I wanted; it shouldn’t have been such a hard resolution to stick to. I knew I didn’t want to drive my car around the over-crowded parking lot, only to have someone steal my spot. I knew I didn’t want to elbow the blond next to me for the last treadmill. I knew I didn’t want to arrive at body pump class, only to discover there is no bench or weight set in sight. I knew I didn’t want to speed to the gym, rush up to the spinning room hoping to be five minutes early; only to find everyone else must have been ten minutes early.
Really and truly each year I set out to NOT go to the gym in January. People think I’m kidding when I spout off this resolution. I assure you I am not. January at the gym is a joke. I believe those of us, who go all year long deserve some kind of priority status. Would it be too much if I used a little label maker and starting marking treadmills, a weight set and perhaps a blow dryer?  
This time of year the words diet and exercise take up the majority of conversation and thought. Suddenly everyone is talking veggies and humus. They’re throwing out terms such as squats, sets and intervals. They begin detailing what they are going to eat morning, noon and night, and how many minutes per week they plan to sweat. Sometimes I just want to throw something unexpected into the conversation, like, “Hey you guys, I plan to eat a lot more fiber this year, and I’m hoping this will result in four successful bowel movements a day, instead of my measly three a day I was maintaining in 2011.”  I wouldn’t stop there, why would I? I’d continue to ramble on, “So you keep your food log and I will keep my poop log and then maybe we can go to lunch together. I’ll order water, drop a benfiber tablet in it and obnoxiously crunch one apple after the next. You get your usual order of salad with a side of veggies; and we’ll talk about poop, food and sweat.”
Regrettably I have yet to keep this resolution. Here we are January 9th and I’ve been shamelessly attending the gym. I guess, there is always next year.

This post was prompted by Write on Edge. ----This week we’d like you to write a memoir piece about an unfulfilled goal or a broken resolution, beginning with the words, “I knew what I wanted."


  1. Ha! This is AWESOME. And awesome that you go so faithfully, too. :) I remember being at auditions at Northwestern University's school of music and hearing students complaining that we, the auditioners, were taking up THEIR practice rooms...on a Saturday. At my school, the music building was empty on Saturday. That comment alone made me want to go to Northwestern. Alas, it was not to be. :)

  2. I'm glad I don;t waste your time every January. I don't resolve to go to a gym. toe expensive when I fail. I do resolve to use my tread mill more often. I fail after the beginning of each new month.

  3. HA! I totally relate to this, I have been complaining about the traffic at my gym all week. I go at 7 am, so it's not too bad, but there have been a few times where the machine I want is unavailable and I just want to stand there and glare at the perfectly color coordinated thief who will likely vanish in the next few weeks.

    And I definitely took a photo of a big rats nest of hair in the shower drain. There's no way to know if it was a newbie, but it had never happened before so I chose to blame it on the New Year as well. Hmmm...

  4. Love your sense of humor through it all!

  5. And just look at those SHOES! Can you imagine how their feet must have hurt after posing even just long enough for that picture on those things? I go to the gym on and off (and off and off) all year and don't resolve to do anything just because of the date change. But I make sure that if I'm gymming in January, it's at OFF peak times.

  6. I know! I was totally shocked when I went to my gym. I go early enough that it's usually practically empty. But I give them two weeks and they'll (hopefully) be gone.

  7. Love it--sassy woman! It's too dark to run outside in the mornings now so I have to go to the gym tomorrow. I'm dreading the January busy-ness.