Bachelor Review: Week 3

Oh Juan Pablo. First we have a one-on-one with Cassandra. Or as Juan says it, “Casssssandra.”

They talk about being a single parent. Then they share photos of their little ones. Then they reminisce about being a parent. Next they talk about how serious they are about this journey because… you guessed it.. they are single parents. You guys! They have so much in common, they are both parents! 

And you know what, you cannot find a lot of parents in this world. It is such a unique characteristic.

But that car boat thing was bitchin. You got me abc, you got me good.

He gives beautiful Cassssandra a rose. I mean a rossse.

Next, a group date! Where the ladies participate in a huge girl fight camouflaged as a soccer game.

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The group date ended with a bunch of little private conversations. So while Pablo was with one girl the rest of the girls could talk shit on them. It was sweet.

There was a kiss. You know the one. Sharleen, soccer field, and a whole bunch of awkwardness. Was that awful or what!!?

That blond nurse girl got the group date rose. Good for her, maybe next time she’ll actually stand out enough for me to remember her name. Good luck honey.

This brings us to our second one-on-one of the night with Chelsi, the blond teacher, (Even with that description there is still a couple of those.)

They eat a bunch of Venezuelan food from a Californian food court. Oh Juan Pablo you are SO exoctic maybe next we can bite into a burrito. Show me this big world Pablo. Show me!

And here it comes the moment of truth. Chelsi and Juan are challenged to bungee jump. Wait, is he some kind of Latino genius? How did he come up with such an original date idea? Is Bungee jumping a Venezuelan thing? I’ve never known such an adventure!

Chelsi was sweating the whole jump from a bridge idea. I mean, I actually thought she might not go through with it for a second. It was dream of mine, but with Pablo’s sweet talkin my dream was crushed and the two bonded over their bold triumph.

They went on and on about how this is what relationships are all about. Yep, you guys have got it, now you’re ready for anything life will throw at you.

The two ended the night by being serenaded with a private concert. I know they talk about those concerts like they are God’s greatest gift, but I think it looks like it would be extremely awkward. Hey lets call in Sharleen. Sharleen tell us, you seem to know so much about awkwardness. (I’m not going to let her live that down).  

Juan takes the show into his own hands and surprises the girls with breakfast. He wanted to see the ladies el natural.

He then decided to forgo the cocktail party and opted for a pool party instead. Oh Juan, you are so creative. More women in bikinis, which created more jealousy, which lead to some tears and a lot of smack talking. It was touching.

He sent Lucy (Free Spirit) And Christy home. Lucy flew away to live with her bird fiends and sing to disney princesses. And as for Christy, who's Christy again? Oh well, she's hot and blond.. I'm sure she'll find her way.

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