Bachelor Review: Episode 8

photo credit: people.com

Let's cut right to the chase. Little miss Des is a goner. Were you surprised? I actually was. I thought Catherine was going to get the boot. Instead he'll probably string her along another week and then cut her.

Let's take it from the top. First we travel to Houston to meet AshLee's parents. You know her story right? Well it's basically her parents telling her story in much the same way that we have heard it all season long.

 Her parents seemed nice and normal, so obviously this was a huge disappointment to me. No siblings to disapprove of Sean... it made for a boring meeting.

I like AshLee, but there is no sense of humor to speak of. Not to play Chris Harrison but my advice to Sean: Marry someone who makes you laugh, or you are going to make a long-ass life for yourself.

In the end AshLee's parents approve of Sean.

Do any of these parents ever think, Hey this guy is dating four women at one time, maybe my approval isn't something I should feel compelled to hand over. Nope they all love them.

Next we go to Seattle where Catherine takes Sean to the fish market so he can catch a bunch of slimy fish, something that Catherine, herself,  has never done. So it was cute that they could both discover her city together.

Sean meets her sisters and Mother. Now here is the shocker, her sisters had some concerns and voiced some honest feedback. I know, I know this is not the time nor the place to express any kind of genuine thoughts. It simply is not right.

And now for some more Chris Harrison approved advice: When your sister is dating a guy that she has known for a total of six hours, and that man has not been allowed to say he loves her, and that man is also dating four other women you need to let your sister marry the dude. Duh... This is what LOVE looks like. What's the problem?

 Then it's on to Missouri where Lindsay puts Sean through some kind of boot camp.

You guys, it pains me to say this because you all know sincerity it not something these posts subscribe to, but a slight interruption to my bitter sarcasm would be: I kind of like Lindsay because I think she's funny.

Okay sorry I'm back. Let's talk about how scared Sean was of Lindsay's father, the General. Like really Sean, did you think he was actually going to kick your ass? How much would I have loved that!?

They end the night with Dog tags from dad and an awkward hug from little brother. So precious.

Next it's LA with Des. Des takes Sean for a hike and acts like she's in an actual relationship with him.

Then she planned a little practical joke. She had some actor come to her home and act like an old boyfriend who was not quite over her. Good on you Des.

Des's parents were... well... Have you read The Glass Castle? They were Glass Castle-esque. As was her childhood, it sounds like. She should have exploited that a little more, making it into a sob story, I bet we'd find her in the final two had she been wise enough to play this game that way it was intended.

And talk about awkward brothers... Here brother wanted to have it out with Sean. He was all tatted-up and angry as hell. Good for you little brother, you really had us scared.

The neat thing is that her brother learned a few big words for this event such as reciprocate and circumstance and he used these new found words with uber repetitiveness. He sounded so incredibly smart I almost forgot I was watching this train-wreck of a show.

You know how the rose ceremony ends. Tell me, tell me. Who will take the final rose?

My bet is AshLee will make it to the final two, and then become our bachelorette. And I think Lindsay will go all the way. And by all the way, I mean they'll be featured in a few US Weeklys and then break up. How exciting.