Monday, February 24, 2014

Bachelor Review: Hometowns

Four has always seemed too many for meeting families.

First, Nikki takes us to Kansas to eat ribs and ride a fake bull. A cultured woman.

The two take it too far when bull riding becomes a team event. Gross.

Nikki's mom was quite excited about the whole thing. Her exuberance had me thinking perhaps the producers flubbed up and told her they were resurrecting Oprah's favorite things episode an she was going to be on it.

Her mom interviews her, she seemed really into this whole idea. You would be too, if you you thought Oprah was handing you gifts.

Then Nikki's dad interviews Juan Pablo as well as Nikki. It was so beautifully scripted. ABC did a great job hiring this family. I bought it hook line and sinker.

Nikki wanted to drop the L- bomb but ABC didn't include it in the script.

One down three to go.

Andi takes us to Atlanta. I've heard Atlanta is amazing, but we wouldn't know, we only saw an indoor shooting range. So, they do have those. Good to know.

At the shooting range we learn that Andi is a natural born killer. Comforting.

Juan can't hit the target to save his life.

Next they meet the fam. They are excited to have their Pookie home. No, no I'm not being nasty that's what they call their daughter. I guess that's how they do it in Georgia.

Andi's dad, Hy, is concerned about this process. Oh Come on Hy, this is a Hyliarious journey just try to enjoy it will you?

All Andi's mom was concerned with was getting to Salsa with Pablo. They ended the dance with a Hy five.

Her dad would not extend his blessing to Juan. Mostly because he is dating four women at the same time.
Andi has a chat with her sister who said, Andi are you Hy? You cannot really think you'll spend the rest of your life with him?" Andi cried.

To sum up the night Hy, obviously does not stand for Hell Yes. He strikes me as more of a Hell No kind of man.

Next Renee takes us to Florida. the two attend her son's Little League game.

Yes, she did introduce him to her son. Mistake. Big mistake.

Renee's mom just wants her to be happy. Her family was easy on him. Again, a mistake.

They saved the breast for last, Clare.

Sweet little manipulative Clare tours us through the rose garden's of Sacramento as she she reminisces about her late father. She has the sob story down. She's good, she's real good.

Clare is the youngest and prettiest of six girls. This means they hate her. It also means for the first time in this episode I was thoroughly entertained.

How much were you loving her sister Laura? Classic.

Laura insisted on badgering Clare and talking for Mama. And she did she really didn't let Mama say a word. Clare got all worked up. then a mother sister swoops in and tries to save the day. I smell a reality TV series out of this.

Juan Pablo charms the ever difficult Laura and smooths it over and once again peace is restored in the world of reality TV. Aren't we all so grateful for Juan Pablo?

Rose ceremony: Renee goes home! I told you it was a mistake to introduce him to your son! Renee has seemed reasonable and nice throughout this adventure so well knew it was only a matter of time.

But what's with the rejection hugs and hand holding?  If a guy dumps me on TV right after meeting my family and son I wouldn't walk away in his arms! I would get the Hy out of there.

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